They don’t call it a test for nothing

There comes a time in every divemaster trainee’s journey when you must don a snorkel, subject yourself to the mercy of your peers and down a bucket of God knows what. This happy time came recently for three brave souls – Henry, Desa and Ste.

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Henry joined us on Koh Tao after my arrival, which just shows how quickly you can bosh out the course, if needs be. He’s soon to be on his merry way to Australia for more adventures, and we’re sure to miss his signature enthusiastic waving, among other things. Desa and Ste aren’t quite leaving us yet, but as the snorkel test is such a lavish affair, they joined in early for the fun.

To kick off proceedings, the wickedly talented handymen, Sam and Ryan, had spent two (just two!) afternoons building the most incredible beer pong table you can imagine. It fit perfectly over the simple life furniture, they painted it a fluorescent red and green, and even managed to source the American plastic cups to boot. Copious bottles of beer were bought, so much so that the bar ran out of Changs and Leos, and we positively hammered the game. Kudos to the boys for showing such inspired initiative!

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After a fair few successful rounds of beer pong and pool, the real games were about to begin. Everyone had been asked to bring offerings of an unusual item of clothing, to complete the outfits of the night for the lucky three. They each had one minute to grab five pieces each, from an eclectic mix of bunny ears, bikinis, underpants and all sorts. It’s safe to say that fashion boundaries were pushed, with Henry puzzling over whether to have the bikini top over or under his tee shirt. Over. Definitely over.

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The snorkel test itself was a corker. Mustard, Tabasco and fish sauce were among the ingredients used, and it’s safe to say that every contestant did themselves proud.

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Another reason to celebrate this particular night was that it marked Ryan’s final day as a Royal Marine. To welcome him into civilian life, the gang decided to surprise him by plonking him on the bar, dragging him along it and pouring our assorted drinks over him, Coyote Ugly style. One savage person was kind enough to vigorously shake the pot of salt in his mouth right at the end. Poor Abi got a bit carried away and up-ended her precious Baileys shake all over his face. A moment of madness.

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What followed was one of the most outrageously fun nights we’ve been lucky to experience so far. Desa and Maria were forced to guzzle water outside the 7/11 before being allowed to enter Fishbowl by Gill, Ryan got hit in the face by a flaming tennis ball, Henry and Ste had a tactical snooze on the bean bags at the beach, Tess ran wild in her Victoria Secret underwear jumping in the pool at Sunset, and we generally had the best time ever.

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You can probably tell that we’re extremely sad to see our friends leave, and our Simple Life family truly won’t feel the same without them! Adios, amigos.

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